Borussia Dortmund fan vows to never get emotionally attached to player again


Saying that the consistent and crippling heartache had become too much to handle, a devastated Borussia Dortmund fan today vowed to never get emotionally attached to a player ever again.

Speaking just moments after club stalwart Mats Hummels announced his intention to leave the club for bitter rivals Bayern Munich, Dieter Schwarcz stated that his heart emotional well-being was behind his decision.

“Each time it happens you don’t think it’s even possible for it to happen again. But it does, every single time. At some point there has to come a time where I stop making myself so emotionally available. For me, that time is now,” said Schwarcz, adding that he had spent the months following Mario Goetze’s transfer to Bavaria wondering whether he had come on too strong as a fan, or not strong enough.

“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me ten or eleven times over the course of a few seasons, shame on me. I need to start thinking about myself and keep my distance. I’ll support them, but just in a more relaxed, casual way. That way I won’t get hurt.”

At press time, friends of the 27-year-old feared he was already returning to old habits after he replaced his phone wallpaper of Hummels with a picture of Dortmund youngster Julian Weigl.

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