Leicester City’s title celebrations were brought to a shuddering halt by heavy showers of Walkers cheese and onion crisps last night as Gary Lineker awoke from a nine-month coma.
The former Leicester and Tottenham striker, in a coma since slipping at his London home in September, reportedly woke at 4am on Tuesday morning, with subsequent torrential down burst of fried potato snacks immediately bringing an end to raucous and joyful parties across the East Midlands city.
“Oh, it was so wonderful. We defied all the odds and were top for the entire season and then, we actually won it,” the tearful Match of the Day host told his family and friends of the fabricated reality he had created for himself during his time without consciousness.
“I’m just so proud of them. Can you believe it Wayne?”
At press time, Lineker’s family and friends were deciding whether or not to tell him that Leicester City were in fact on the verge of relegation after appointing their third manager since the sacking of Claudio Ranieri in November.
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