Chelsea, City, United and Arsenal agree to never speak of this Premier League season again

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Describing their decision as the ideal course of action for all involved, Chelsea, Manchester City, Manchester United and Arsenal have today agreed to never speak of this Premier League season again.

A statement released to the media after a meeting of senior executives revealed that the decision had been made in the best interests of all parties involved.

“We feel that this agreement is necessary given the large amounts of embarrassment incurred by all of us throughout the campaign,” read the statement, before adding that a late amendment submitted at the behest of Arsenal means that mentioning the 2015/16 season will only be permitted when ridiculing Tottenham Hotspur.

“But we will never goad or taunt each other over what has occurred here, and will swiftly move on towards a brighter future. As far as we are concerned this season never happened and we’ll all go about our lives as such.”

At press time, all four clubs also agreed to not learn anything from what had happened this season and to continue to conduct themselves in their usual manner.

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