Obsessive Pep Guardiola already preparing for descent into madness at Man City


Saying that he’d like to have a firm handle on as many areas of his new job as possible, an obsessive Pep Guardiola revealed today that he’s already preparing for his descent into madness at Manchester City.

Currently in charge of Bundesliga champions Bayern Munich but officially taking over from Manuel Pellegrini in July, the Spaniard has admitted that he has already taken the required steps to make sure he’s ready for the frenzied state he expects to enter after a short period in the job.

“Watching Vincent Kompany get injured so early on against Real Madrid, as well as witnessing the unholy sight of Jesus Navas permanently sprinting into the abyss has made me realise that I’m going to lose the plot a lot sooner than in previous positions,” said the former Barcelona coach, admitting that he’s already feeling anxious at the thought of watching Aleksandar Kolarov do whatever it is he does in person.

“I’m not even managing them yet and I already wake up in the middle of the night screaming at Yaya Toure to move more, so I’m slightly worried to see how bad it gets when I get there. At least by preparing for it, it might be less of a shock to the system.”

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