Insisting that retaining their manager had put all the disappointment behind them, Tottenham fan Greg Malcolm today attempted to lie to himself that Mauricio Pochettino’s contract extension completely makes up for the club’s failure to win the Premier League.
Speaking to co-workers upon hearing the news that the club’s Argentine coach had signed a new deal to extend his contract until 2021, Malcolm attempted in vain to convince those in earshot that the announcement had gone any way toward healing his spirit, broken several times in the lead up to Leicester City’s title win.
“Woah, this news totally changes the entire complexion of the season,” the 28-year-old said unconvincingly as he tried to suppress memories of the 20 points his side had lost from winning positions this season. “I’ll look back at this season with a different outlook now.”
At press time, Malcolm was painfully replaying Eden Hazard’s title challenge-ending equaliser against Tottenham repeatedly in his head while lying through the medium of Twitter about the perspective he now feels.
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