Sports Direct to give away free Newcastle United player with every purchase over £70

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Saying that they considered it the best way to offload some of their excess stock, Sports Direct today announced that they will give away a free Newcastle United player with each purchase worth over £70.

“From today we’ll be offering our wonderful customers the unique opportunity to avail of the usual low cost prices from Sports Direct and get a free professional footballer while they’re at it,” read a press release, adding that any purchase of a Karrimor windbreaker jacket will also come with a pair of Lonsdale socks and a French footballer of the customer’s choosing.

The statement read that while some of the players may have deficiencies they are, for the most part, somewhat functional. As well as this, Sports Direct has ensured customers that the players retain the same quality for each season spent on Tyneside.

“We just hope this early initiative will bode well for us before our rivals like Norwich and Aston Villa begin their own fire sales in the summer.”

At press time, Sports Direct confirmed that 95 percent of all customers had so far declined the offer.

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