Football League shakeup proposes “maybe putting some glitter and fancy stars on it”


The Football League has proposed a radical shakeup of its current structure, with senior members strongly suggesting that they “maybe put some glitter and fancy stars on it” in a bid to make the competition more attractive and profitable.

The new proposals, which would come into effect in 2019/20 if approved, would also involve the addition of “some shiny lettering” and “cool pictures” which executives insists would “look pretty smart”.

“This is the 21st century and sadly the current league setup is antiquated and needs changing,” said Football League chief executive Shaun Harvey, adding that the addition of the fancy stars and the future possibility of “some kind of stripes or something like that” would make the league more attractive for sponsors and media alike.

At press time, negotiations between clubs and officials were deadlocked due to a disagreement over whether the ribbons set the be attached to the league should be shiny or pastel.

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