Manchester United planning further movie promotions to distract from every other facet of club


Saying that increasing focus on commercial ventures was a significantly less daunting prospect than attempting to fix the club’s problems, Manchester United today planned further movie promotions in a bid to distract from every other facet of the club.

Speaking after witnessing the reaction to a club video promoting the latest movie in the X-Men series, Ed Woodward revealed that they are already working on several more film tie-ins, given their unique power to shift focus from the other departments of the club.

“We’ve been delighted with the engagement and reaction to this latest video. We’ve had thousands of retweets and likes and, most importantly, people are talking about how wonderfully bad the clip is,” said Woodward, adding that it was a nice change of pace from fans criticising every single area of the club on a daily basis.

“The players love it; it’s a change of scenery for them. In fact, Juan Mata keeps saying we should branch into Art House cinema – he’s even offered to direct – but we’re not sure if the audience is there.”

Meanwhile, club captain Wayne Rooney spoke out about his cameo in the video, saying that it was always nice to have people hurling abuse at him for something other than his football abilities.

“I know my line delivery might not be the best, but honestly, you can’t say it’s as bad as my first touch. For that I’m thankful.”

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