“I have nothing to live for anymore,” says journalist as Nicolas Gaitan signs for Atletico Madrid


Slumping in his chair as he evaluated his entire life up until that point, a football journalist today revealed that he has nothing to live for anymore after news emerged that Nicolas Gaitan had signed for Atletico Madrid.

Speaking from his central London office, sports writer Tim Park admitted that he doesn’t see the point to his existence now that the Argentine had signed for the Spanish  giants.

“That’s it. I have nothing else to offer to the world. What’s the point now?” asked the devastated 27-year-old, adding that he it would be difficult to move on from the topic, about which he had written an article every day of his professional career.

“Every moment of my waking life has been spent pondering where he would go, offering up different theories. Now it means nothing. How do you move on from something that you’ve poured yourself into? It was all a lie.”

At press time, Park had reportedly slipped into an even deeper malaise upon discovering that Manchester United were in fact never interested in the 28-year-old attacker.

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