Jose Mourinho trademarks Roman Abramovich’s name as image rights drama heats up


Cursing his foolishness for not considering this turn of events, Roman Abramovich today revealed that Jose Mourinho has trademarked his name as the image rights drama between the two heats up.

The incredible twist comes as Mourinho’s proposed move to Manchester United continues to stall over an inability to regain his image rights from the London club.

“Jesus. How the hell did I not think he’d resort to this? I’ve got his name trademarked for every eventuality and I never thought to get mine done,” lamented the Russian oligarch, adding that he should’ve known something was brewing when the Portuguese manager called him at midnight to ask how his middle name is spelled.

“He’s even got it covered for the sale of braces, towels and cups. Damn it he’s good.”

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