Mathieu Flamini feels he’s kept plans for world domination hidden pretty well


Saying that he has been surprised at the ease with which everyone has believed his elaborate ruse, Mathieu Flamini today admitted that he’s pretty happy with how well he’s hidden his plans for world domination.

Speaking a year after his energy firm GF Biochemicals came to public attention, the Frenchman admitted that he remains a little shocked but hugely pleased at the gullibility shown by the world at large in its acceptance of his disguised quest for control of the universe.

“I must admit, I thought people might be a bit more skeptical, but they’ve absolutely lapped it up,” said the midfielder, adding that it was almost as if people had ignored everything they knew about his on-field persona. “I’m pure scum on the pitch, everyone knows that. But they just willingly buy this story that I’m some sort of saviour off it? You couldn’t make it up.”

The former AC Milan player revealed that he has every intention of keeping the charade going, at least until it’s too late for anyone to stop him.

“I’ll probably do a few more interviews before I fully get into Operation Soul Harvest, just to alleviate any suspicion. But to be honest, we’ll be way too far gone to be thwarted at that stage.”

At press time, Flamini was reportedly lowering a goon into a vat of acid after he had over-milked his coffee.