Jose Mourinho promises to not get personal with “weird looking, weak-willed” Guardiola

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Saying that he will make a point of focusing entire on footballing matters, Jose Mourinho today publicly promised to not get personal with “weird looking, weak willed” Pep Guardiola.

Speaking to media today, Mourinho insisted that he would be remiss to discuss the Manchester City coach’s “many flaws”, and would instead choose to keep his mind on on-field issues.

“I am manager of one of the biggest clubs in the world and I will think only of that. I absolutely will not shed light upon Guardiola’s weak gait and unmanly stance,” said the Portuguese coach, adding that he will also resist the urge to call Guardiola a “bald goober” at any given opportunity.

“Also, I will certainly not suggest that Guardiola gets preferential treatment from referees and that he is, fundamentally, a coward and a charlatan. I simply won’t stoop to that, though I suspect he will.”

At press time, Mourinho also vowed to never physically abuse any of Guardiola’s players or staff unless he really feels like it.