ISIS, the terrorist group based in Iraq and Syria, has claimed responsibility for the England national team’s horrific showing at Euro 2016, which left 24 humiliated and millions devastated..
Speaking from an undisclosed location outside of the Syrian city of Raqqa, the group declared that they had pulled off yet another blow to Western society in the form of their long-planned and stunningly executed destruction of England’s tournament hopes.
“After the completion of our perfect plan, England will no doubt look inwards and rip itself to shreds, causing increasing chasms within its football society, and our work will be done,” members of the group were reported to have said in the video made prior to the tournament and released today.
“The FA and all within English football will turn on each other and leave little more than burning rubble behind them.”
At press time, a surprisingly delighted Roy Hodgson admitted that ISIS had in fact been behind the showing, and that he was powerless to stop them.