Describing it as the boost that the entire island requires right now, English media today announced their intention to refer to Wales as “Britain” for the rest of Euro 2016.
Citing their ability to do anything they please without reproach, senior executives at the Daily Mail and The Sun revealed that Wales’ recent success has made the decision an obvious one.
“We have been looking for ways to make England feel good about itself after the last few weeks and we figured we’d just appropriate Welsh pride and turn it into British pride,” stated Daily Mail editor-in-chief Paul Dacre, adding that his newspaper had been inspired by media outlets referring to Andy Murray as British rather than Scottish in the past.
“Welsh people should not see this as an affront, more of a sign of affection. Much like when Great Britain colonised half the world, we’re only doing this because we like them so much.”
At press time, press figures admitted that should Wales go so far as to win the competition, they’ll begin referring to them simply as England.