FA decides against reevaluation of England’s footballing priorities


England’s Football Association today confirmed that it has decided against a reevaluation of the country’s footballing priorities, for at least a few years.

In a statement today, the FA insisted that while there are no doubt merits to reassessing the country’s footballing ideals and starting from scratch, there are also downsides, including the requirement of both effort and thought.

“We were seriously considering it and were beginning the process of creating a task force to look at how the country approaches the game, but then we thought: ‘what about Sam Allardyce? He could do a job’ so we just decided to go that route,” read the statement.

“People may say that we need to undergo a considered and thoughtful change of how we look at the game, but Sam has his own style and he’s got proven quality of getting the most from his players. It’s Big Sam!”

At press time, senior FA figures sought to assuage unhappy fans, insisting that there would be more than enough time for a root-and-branch review of the country’s footballing style once Allardyce’s doomed spell comes to an end.