Barcelona players find safe spot to laugh privately at Lionel Messi’s hair


Erupting in laughter that had been stifled and held in for days on end, a group of Barcelona players today found a secluded area during training in which to privately mock Lionel Messi’s hair.

The Argentina forward has been widely mocked online after unveiling his new, platinum blonde colour last week, with many questioning the reasoning behind such an out of character styling choice.

Such a luxury deserted his teammates however, who had been forced to bite their tongues around the sensitive talisman since returning for pre-season training.

As such there was tangible feeling of relief today when, after relocating to a corner of the training facility that was well out of the striker’s earshot, several first team players unleashed a barrage of pent up ridicule and derision.

“The lads are really going to town on Lionel, like absolutely slaughtering him,” said one unnamed player, adding that the terms “Bond villain”, “weirdo” and”mid-life crisis” had been bandied about.

“Thank God they’re doing it over here, if he heard even a sliver of this he would literally have them all sold. End of.”

After being spotted by Messi the players, still with laughter-induced tears in their eyes, insisted that they were merely crying due to the knowledge that they will never have hair as nice as his.