Knowing cockroaches begin to flee Hull City’s KC Stadium


Hull City’s nightmare preparation for their Premier League return continued today as millions of cockroaches began to depart the KC Stadium.

The East Yorkshire club’s summer has been one of turmoil, with manager Steve Bruce resigning and only 13 fit senior players on the books, a situation that could worsen if Mohamed Diame’s proposed transfer to Newcastle United goes through.

Speaking out about the departure, sources at the club expressed their disappointment, but insisted that they fully understand the cockroaches’ decision.

“They’ve been a fixture here for a long time and we’re sad to see them go. We wish them well,” said the source, adding that though the cockroaches are not sentient, it had been clear in the lead up to their exit that they knew something bad was unfolding at the club.

“These things survive nuclear disasters, they are almost invincible, yet they just couldn’t bring themselves to stay here. You could see that they were agitating for a move for a while.”

At press time, morale at the club had reportedly hit rock bottom after every rat, mouse and termite living within the stadium moved to an out-of-use and burned out factory nearby.