Authorities break up underground dressage battle on streets of Rio


Brazilian authorities last night busted an underground dressage battle on the streets of Rio de Janeiro.

After months of covert operations involving law enforcement officials from 17 countries, the city’s paramilitary police unit, CORE, reportedly detained 14 riders and 10 dancing horses.

No casualties were reported, though two dancing horses are believed to have fled the scene.

Speaking at a press conference this morning, the chief of the Rio’s military police, Colonel José Luís Castro Menezes, praised his officers for shutting down the dangerous event.

“These are bad horses. They don’t trot or canter, they strut in clear violation of the rules of dressage. Undoubtedly the streets are where they belong, but not our streets,” said Menezes, adding that despite the successful mission, there was likely hundreds more similar events taking place each night across the city.

“While people may be tempted to get involved in what appears to be a glamorous world, the public must remember that these are wild beats with no consideration for the law or conventional horse dancing.”

At press time, Menezes warned the public against interacting with the majestic yet erratic mounts, in light of a spate of recent carrot and sugar cube thefts.