Apologising for the late notice and insisting that they wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t necessary, Hull City today issued an appeal for mates who know how to play football and own their own shin pads.
The newly-promoted side have suffered a pre-season of tumult, losing manager Steve Bruce and finding themselves with just 13 fit senior players heading into the new campaign.
Realising that time is of the essence, Hull City owner Assem Allam sent out a flurry of text messages last night in a bid to recruit close friends and acquaintances who are available, capable of kicking a ball and in possession of shin guards and boots.
“We’re a few lads short,” read the text message issued by the club to each of its season holders and fan club members. “If you’re about and have shin pads give me a shout please.”
Despite the unorthodox nature of the appeal, Allam expressed his confidence that the club will do their fans proud on the opening day of the season.
“Yes, Leicester City are the reigning champions and have a good team. But we’ve heard from good sources that the one of the boys is bringing along his uncle who’s supposed to be a real player for an old fella. Aside from this there’s apparently one or two lads that had trials with Bradford so we could surprise them.”
At press time, Allam sent out an additional text, informing players to bring their own shorts and socks.