Manchester City robots have gone rogue, taken Guardiola hostage, club confirm


“They mean to kill me sir,” said a terrified Guardiola of the robots during a brief conversation with police.

The robots recently acquired by Manchester City have gone rogue and taken manager Pep Guardiola hostage, the club have confirmed.

The Manchester club recently signed a deal with Chinese robotics firm, Ubtech Robotics Corp, with the intention of using the humanoid figures to entertain fans during matchdays.

However, after what the club have described as an “incident of unexpected consciousness”, the 1,000-strong team of three-foot tall killing machines have reportedly holed up inside the Etihad Stadium with the intention of a complete hostile takeover.

“They mean to kill me sir,” a terrified Guardiola was heard telling police shortly after being captured. “Please help me.”

According to local law enforcement officials, the robots appear to be highly organised and are operating under the leadership of the one called MancBot.

“We are stronger, faster and smarter than you all,” Mancbot said in a digital statement beamed into the minds of bystanders. “Surrender or perish.”

At press time, later attempts to contact Guardiola had proved futile, with club staff admitting that, given enough time with the robots, he’ll either win them over with his methods or die a slow, bloody death.