Phil Jones injury is minor, likely to be out for 60 years, confirms Mourinho


Man Utd have been buoyed by news that Jones’ injury is no serious and that he will be out for the next six decades.

Revealing that he’s seen more serious injuries and that he will be lucky if he ever walks again, Jose Mourinho today admitted that Phil Jones’ injury is a minor one and he’ll likely be out for 60 years.

“Phil obtained a minor medial knee ligament injury in training and we fully expect him to retain full fitness by 2076 at the very latest,” said the Portuguese coach, adding that the club’s future medical staff, most of whom are yet to be born, are highly qualified to deal with injuries of this nature.

“It really could have been a lot worse, and I have every confidence that the managers who take over long after I have left this club and this earth will be able to fully utilise Phil upon recovery.”

At press time, Jones’ prognosis had reportedly worsened, after it was revealed that his medial ligament tear had contracted a tear of its own.