Arsene Wenger admits it’s taking all his willpower to resist mocking Jose Mourinho mercilessly

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Arsene Wenger has admitted that it has required every ounce of his willpower to resist mocking Jose Mourinho mercilessly.

Saying that nothing would give him more pleasure than to “shove the dirty Portuguese prick’s words down his throat”,  Arsene Wenger today admitted that it’s taking all of his willpower to mercilessly mocking Jose Mourinho.

Discussing the recent struggles of his rival of more than 10 years, Wenger revealed to TBN Sport that while he knows without doubt that Mourinho would twist the knife were the shoe on the other foot, he feels it would be unbecoming to kick the man when he’s so clearly down.

“I have watched from afar, and I must admit that I have taken some pleasure in watching him falter. In my darker moments – and by that I mean each second of every day – I feel a strong urge to mock him mercilessly,” said the Frenchman, adding that the thought of watching Mourinho react to being called “the true specialist in failure” makes him “so excited it’s almost perverse”.

“Can you imagine him there, squirming as my quotes are read out to him verbatim? Beads of sweat pouring down his shaking temple, jaw and fists clenched.I could so easily slip in ‘So what do you think about Jose these days?’ during an interview, but no, I can not and I must not. I have to be better than him.”

At press time, Wenger stated that while he himself will be not mocking Mourinho, he would have absolutely no problem with all of Arsenal’s fans doing so through the medium of written letter on a daily basis.