Unhinged Jose Mourinho berates Einstein waxwork at Madame Tussauds


“He was very annoyed. He wouldn’t stop screaming and pushing it,” said witnesses of Mourinho’s attack on the Einstein waxwork.

In a scathing attack described by onlookers as “misguided” and “bizarre”, Jose Mourinho reportedly travelled to Madame Tussauds today to berate the waxwork of Albert Einstein.

After a week in which he publicly mocked what he described as “Einsteins” in the footballing world, sources close to Mourinho revealed on Friday that the Manchester United manager felt compelled to travel to the London museum to finally release some stress.

“What do you know about football you stupid dead science man?!” witnesses reported Mourinho as saying, adding that the former Chelsea manager appeared to repeatedly thrash the waxwork with his Champions League medals while shouting “Tell me how I should manage my team now you decrepit fool”. “You talk and talk, but here you stand, unable to even respond to me.”

Horrified bystanders remarked that the Portuguese coach appeared to grow angrier at the lack of response from the plastic model, before eventually screaming while being escorted from the premises.

“He was very annoyed. He wouldn’t stop screaming and pushing it. He’ll clearly in a bad way. It was very sad.”

At press time, Madame Tussauds staff claimed that an emotional Mourinho had made his way back into the building and was begging the inanimate sculpture of the long-deceased scientist for advice on whether or not he should drop Wayne Rooney.