Expressing gratitude that they can finally stop pretending that they want to better the world for minorities, FIFA admitted today that it just doesn’t care about racism, less than 24 hours after the organisation disbanded its anti-racism task force.
Speaking at a press conference at their Zurich headquarters, FIFA president Gianni Infantino revealed that after years of empty gestures and platitudes, the time was right to stop acting like racism matters to them.
“We here at FIFA are delighted to finally be able to admit to each of you that we really don’t care about racism. We feel like we are above most things here and as such, considered it a waste of time to have an entire task force devoted to something that doesn’t matter,” said Infantino, adding that it had become increasingly difficult to continue funding the task force while working closely with some of the most discriminatory governments in the world.
“We thought we made it obvious when we gave Russia the World Cup, but apparently people still believed that we were taking steps to rid football of racism. Well, let this be the end of it. The game is up, the charade is over. We don’t care, okay?”
Additionally, Infantino revealed that some of the funds from their “Say No To Racism” campaign would be diverted to their new “Say Whatever You Want To Anyone” campaign.
At press time, Infantino stated that, considering the ease with which the organisation disbanded the task force, there remained a high likelihood that they would soon admit that they also don’t care about homophobia, poverty or inequality.