Saying that he doesn’t expect the small-minded folks of Scotland to understand, Joey Barton today claimed that “in many ways betting is the one true thinking man’s sport”, after reports emerged that he had been charged on thousands of matches over the last decade.
Despite being found guilty, Barton has refused to repent for his latest transgression, insisting instead that it is purely representative of his “higher state of mind”.
“Look, a lot of people will have their say – the empty vessels always make the most noise – but if my readings have taught me one thing it is that betting, and particularly betting which infringes upon strict rules, is the true thinking man’s sport,” said the former Newcastle United midfielder, adding that Nietzsche himself had said, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger, and he who does not bet illegally is but a pleb in body and soul”.
“In many ways, this is just the world we live in. Intellectuals have always been persecuted for simply existing; Pol Pot did it in the past and now it’s being done to me. Perhaps life would be easier if I was a brain dead sheep like the rest of you, but I’m a different sort of person to everyone else. Sure, I split opinion like all minds who skirt too close to the edge of popular thought, but I won’t change the man I am.”
At press time, a contemplative Barton revealed that he had used his entire Rangers earnings thus far to place a bet on him being sacked before Halloween.