Journalist receives tip-off of disharmony in Man Utd squad from source Dwayne Cooney 


According to the journalist, a heavily Scouse-accented source informed him of disharmony in Jose Mourinho’s squad.

Resting his phone between his ear and shoulder while hurriedly taking down notes on a piece of paper, a journalist today received a tip-off regarding disharmony among the Manchester United players from his source Dwayne Cooney.

Speaking on the phone for close to ten minutes, Cooney relayed to the writer details about apparent unhappiness among the Manchester United squad over Jose Mourinho’s hands off style of training.

“The players don’t like the way Jose goes about his business. They don’t like his style of training or his attitude and they’re particularly unhappy to see such a talented, influential and handsome player like Wayne Rooney dropped so unceremoniously,” said the Scouse-accented source, adding that many of the players consider Rooney to be the nicest person they’ve ever met, as well the best player in the world and definitely not an overpaid waste of space who should have been sold years ago.

“Their patience is running pretty thin right now and I really don’t know how much longer they’ll be willing to put up with it, especially considering how much they all love, respect and idolise Wayne.”

At press time, the source agreed to call at the same time next week before accidentally signing off as Wayne Rooney.