Football fan fond of mocking “sensitive liberals” getting mighty sensitive over poppies


Mr. Breeves has reportedly become incredibly sensitive over which footballers wear poppies and which don’t.

A football fan who regularly takes to the internet to mock what he calls “sensitive liberals” sure is acting mighty sensitive over which professional footballers wear poppies, according to sources close to him.

Taxi driver Ben Breeves, who reportedly voted for Britain to leave the EU and who spends hours each week leaving derogatory comments on left-leaning Guardian opinion pieces, is said to have taken the news that some footballers are refusing to wear the flowers in remembrance of Britain’s fallen soldiers like a “spoiled child”.

“It’s odd. He always goes on about how the London-based liberals are overly sensitive and need to toughen up and get on with things, but he’s not spoken about anything apart from this since last week,” said one friend of the 43-year-old, adding that it’s peculiar that Breeves hasn’t taken his own advice and simply “sucked it up”.

“He’s there shouting about respect and insisting that people who don’t wear the poppy should be forced to do so. It’s almost as if he’s in favour of democracy when it suits him, but when something happens that he dislikes – even when it effects him in absolutely no way – he simply can’t deal with it. ”

At press time, Breeves had finished writing a comment praising World War II troops for liberating Europe, before beginning a new one about how Winston Churchill should have let the continent burn.