Manchester City remind fans to get pissed nice and early ahead of tonight’s game

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“We would advise all supporters to pile into the pub nice and early so they can be nicely pissed by kick-off.”

Manchester City issued a statement today to remind supporters to get pissed nice and early ahead of tonight’s game at the Etihad Stadium.

In a bid to ensure that all fans enjoy the game as much as possible, the club advised all those attending to make an afternoon start and, if possible, get off work early.

“As usual, we must remind fans that there will be no alcoholic beverages sold at the Etihad Stadium tomorrow night, so we would advise all supporters to pile into the pub nice and early so they can be nicely sloshed by kick-off,” read a club statement, adding that getting properly pissed will also ensure a nice buzz throughout the entire game. “Ideally, you’d have about 11 pints in you before kick-off.”

Additionally, the club released a series of guidelines for drinking prior to the game, advising fans that if they start to find themselves blacking out a little earlier than planned, it’s more than okay to vomit in a nearby toilet and simply start drinking again.

At press time, the club also reminded supporters to call in sick for work tomorrow before going to the pub, as opposed to doing so while hungover in the morning.