Gunnersaurus surges ahead in US election as late Arsenal vote proves decisive


gunnersaurus

Gunnersaurus has leapfrogged Clinton and Trump thanks to 150 million online votes in just 25 minutes.

In a turn of events that has shocked pollsters and political commentators alike, Arsenal mascot Gunnersaurus has reportedly jumped ahead of Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump in tonight’s US presidential election thanks to a late surge in votes from the North London club’s supporters.

Considered little more than a dark horse prior to the release of exit polls, the 65 million-year-old dinosaur is said to have received a flurry of online votes from Arsenal’s fans, with as many as 150 million registered in little more than 25 minutes.

If elected, he would be the oldest president in the United States’ history.

Speaking to his mainly human supporters ahead of his inevitable confirmation as winner and president-elect, the furry green dinosaur thanked his family, who sadly perished shortly after he was born when a massive comet struck the earth.

“This is for all of my loved ones, they started this all. Second I must thank my voters, without you this wouldn’t have been possible,” said the bipedal carnivore, adding that he would follow through on his pledge to quadruple the number of polls available online, as well as his promise to increase the current amount of small, edible dinosaurs by 2 million.

Speaking to CNN this evening, statistical journalist Nate Silver admitted that while Gunnersaurus’ rise was unexpected, it was always foolish to write off the influence that teenage Twitter users could have on this election: “We didn’t see this coming, true. But these guys have a lot of time on their hands and often have more than one Twitter account each. In that case, it shouldn’t come as that big a surprise.

At press time, shocked pundits were reporting that while Gunnersaurus remained well ahead, Clinton and Trump had somehow been overtaken by both Alexis Sanchez and Mesut Ozil.