Saying that his previous comments had merely been taken out of context, Roy Keane insisted to media today that he has nothing against “that no-good prick” Ronald Koeman.
Keane made headlines in recent days after hitting out at the Everton manager over claims that the Republic of Ireland were risking midfielder James McCarthy’s fitness by calling him up for their game against Austria.
Though McCarthy has since dropped out of the squad, the Republic of Ireland assistant manager felt obliged to rebuke suggestions that he has a problem with Koeman, insisting that he has a “perfectly amicable” relationship with the “pasty wanker”.
“Look, I get it. The media want to make a story outta this just because of a few comments from both of us. But it’s simple, I’ve nothing against the no-good prick. Absolutely nothing,” said Keane, adding that while people will try and manufacture conflict between himself and the “dough-faced goon”, it simply doesn’t exist.
“He’s got a team to manage and I have sympathy for the fact that he’s a bit of an idiot who probably doesn’t understand what he says sometimes. We’re both football mean, we’re both professionals and I’m certain that we can both agree that he’s a tosser and a whiner and that there’s absolutely no feud going on.”
At press time, Keane stated that he intends to focus on Ireland’s upcoming game, and revealed that if people have any further questions, they should direct them to “that miserable Dutch gobshite”.