Joey Barton struggling to find philosophical quote to sum up spell at Rangers


Barton admitted that it would be a lot easier to find a quote if he understood any of them.

Pensively staring out the window of his study after throwing a copy of Nietzche’s The Birth of Tragedy on the floor, an angry Joey Barton reportedly struggled to find a pseudo-intellectual philosophical quote on Friday to sum up his spell at Rangers.

Racking his brains for a piece of literature he recognised but couldn’t comprehend, the midfielder – released today after less than six months at the Scottish club – cut a forlorn figure.

“Honestly, I was certain that when I inevitably left Rangers it would be a Sartre moment, no doubt about it. At the very least I thought that maybe a line from Nietzche or Voltaire would easily apply, but I can’t find anything,” said an exasperated Barton, admitting that his quest to find a suitable quote would probably be easier if he actually understood any of those he had read.

At press time, a resigned Barton decided to make up a quote and pass it off as someone else’s.