Admitting that he had been left utterly unconvinced by each and every argument put forward by the author, local Jeremy Clunt stated that he had seen nothing in the six words of an article he read about Pep Guardiola this morning to change his mind about the manager.
Speaking mere moments after exiting the 800-word piece and placing his tablet on a nearby counter, Clunt revealed that he had been left disappointed by the writer’s inability to put across a cogent argument in the six words he had read.
“Y’know, I read a lot and when you do read a lot you come to expect more from journalists. In this article – if I can even call it that – there was little nuance, no convincing themes and an overall lack of insight. I was enormously underwhelmed by it all,” said the accounts manager, adding that he hadn’t been so turned off by an article since last week, when he abandoned reading a piece on Jose Mourinho due to what he described as a “seriously uninspiring” caption underneath the main image.
“I know that journalism is a dying industry and that writers are forced to produce increasingly sensationalist pieces, but is a subtle, well-written and thought-provoking article that offers me gratification within the first sentence really too much to ask for? I think not.”
At press time, Clunt had reportedly cheered up considerably after finding a 150-word article on The Sport Bible ranking Premier League WAGs from “minging to blinging”.