Slowly removing the large bird from his oven and placing it to one side ahead of another round of basting, Raymond Verheijen today issued a stark warning to all Christmas Day cooks and insisted that 80 percent of turkeys burn at this time of year due to a lack of periodisation.
Insisting that he had seen too many burnt turkeys over the years to simply keep his mouth shut, Verheijen revealed that he considered it his obligation to educate cooks all over the world during the festive season about the dangers of prehistoric and archaic cooking methods.
“Periodisation is key. Always, always, always. Turkeys can suffer from small-muscle tears if treated in the usual manner and must be eased into the process. Most dinosaurs in their kitchens will cause their turkey to toughen up if they ignore even the most basic rules of periodisation, and will be left with a disgusting bird,” said the Dutch coach today, adding that while he knows that many of ignorant cooks out there will be hesitant to follow his techniques, he has seen it in action.
“It’s very simple yet is ignored by many of those who believe they know best. Simply put, your putting the safety of your bird at risk by ignoring this simple method. You’ll be left with a dry, disgusting bird because you were too proud.”
At press time, Verheijen revealed that all of his turkey cooking techniques will be made available in Turkey Periodisation: A Guide for Cooking Your Bird, which will be in shops in November 2017.