Chuckling to himself at the sheer force of his perceived wit, a man took time out of the only life he’ll ever live today to write “who cares?” in response to a tweet about women’s football.
Sitting at the desk he uses to work from home, 32-year-old freelance writer Jay Dickinson reportedly chose to use up seconds he would never get back again to send the taunting retort after reading a tweet about USWNT star Carli Lloyd joining Manchester City’s women’s team.
“Who is Carli Lloyd lol? No one gives a shit about women’s football, why are you even tweeting about it?” he then wrote in a follow up message, which reportedly used up more than two unique and unrepeatable minutes of the only existence Dickinson will ever have due to his being forced to Google the correct spelling of the footballer’s name.
“What a load of nonces,” he then said to himself, before reclining and spending an hour he’ll never be able to retrieve when he’s consigned to the darkness of eternity intermittently checking for responses to the tweet.
At press time, Dickinson was said to be spending several more hours of his short time on this planet finding individual Twitter accounts of female footballers and hurling nonchalant abuse at them.