In a turn of events the once-famous doppelgänger described as “devastating” and “sore”, Jamie Vardy’s down-on-his-luck look-a-like has reportedly resorted to fighting squirrels for cash outside of the King Power Stadium to make ends meet.
Speaking outside of a pub in central Leicester today, the formerly in-demand double revealed that he has been left with no choice but to battle the swift rodents since Leicester City’s downturn in form.
“When the Foxes won the league I was the happiest man in Leicester. I was getting into clubs for free, girls looked at me, fellas would laugh with me instead of at me; that’s all changed now. These days I can’t even walk down the street without someone spitting on me,” said Lee Chapman today, adding that after weeks of wandering the streets offering photographs for free he decided to accept an offer from a local underground bookmaker to fight squirrels on the pavement to pay his rent.
“At first it was demoralising, as it’s not quite the same as the glamour of the look-a-like circuit. If there’s any more than four of them they all get their teeth into you and it’s a bastard. But overall it’s not too bad, they’re quit easy to kill if you’ve got a shoe in your hand and on good days I could have 11 or 12 people here cheering me or the squirrels on.”
At press time, Chapman admitted that while his life isn’t exactly where he’d want it to be right now, he would never return to his days of anonymity, insisting that he’d “rather die at the hands of a squirrel than ever go back there”.