Taking to the social media platform with flurry last seen on St. George’s Day, a recent report has revealed that your da has already posted six status updates on Facebook about Ched Evans.
Upon hearing the news about Evans – a footballer and convicted rapist who is reportedly on the verge of a return to Sheffield United – sources close to your father say that he
“As soon as he heard the news your father was straight on to Facebook. Currently he’s posting a lot of short CAPS LOCK posts joking about Jessica Ennis-Hill’s reaction the story,” read the report released just minutes ago by Sheffield University, which added that your father has book ended each post with the word “justice” spelled incorrectly.
“All past behaviour indicates that your father will transfer over to Twitter within the hour and start tagging Ms. Ennis-Hill directy, before immediately searching for people with opposing views to argue with.”
The report went on to say that, unless he is stopped, your father will likely have moved on to posting about the “harsh” nature of Britain’s sexual assault laws before nightfall.