“Ander Herrera’s failure to overcome millennia of evolution is embarrassing,” says fan


Herrera was criticised for his failure to ignore and overcome millennia of evolution.

Ander Herrera’s fully functioning flinch reflex, a byproduct of human evolution shared by all homo sapiens was “embarrassing to watch” according to at least one Manchester United fan.

Speaking after the Manchester side’s 2-0 defeat to Arsenal, supporter Alan Monroe hit out at the Basque midfielder for his inability to override his biological impulse to avoid danger after his block of Granit Xhaka’s shot led to the London club’s opener.

“It’s ridiculous. An object was travelling towards him at substantial velocity and all he did was flinch. If it had been me, I would have done exactly the same thing but my sense of toxic masculinity has forced me to inhabit a publicly stated belief that I would have stood there and taken it, in spite of the unconscious signals literally taking over my body-mind system,” said the 31-year-old, adding that a player earning as much as Herrera does should be expected to ignore the body’s uncontrollable reactions.

“I know that in the micro-second available I might have perceived a potential mortal danger as objects travelling at high velocity towards the human head are automatically categorised as such at lightning speeds by millennia-old mechanisms, but I’d have been alright. I just know it.”