“I hate to see rival players chatting,” says man who lives vicariously through footballers

fan vicariously football

Brule, a man who lives vicariously through football, said he hates to see supposed rivals act like friends.

Ronald Brule, a football fan whose life is so devoid of meaning that he lives almost all of it vicariously through professional footballers, today revealed how much he hates to see rival players chatting to each other.

Speaking after a number of Arsenal and Manchester United players were criticised for jovially greeting each other prior to their recent match, the 24-year-old blogger admitted that it makes him wretch to witness supposed professionals put aside partisanship in favour of speaking to their fellow pros and friends.

“It just makes me sick to see players who should hate each other acting all pally. These guys are supposed to be warriors out there fighting every week, not giving each other hugs and asking how the family is. Where’s the passion? Where’s the blind hatred? They’re supposed to be rivals,” said the man whose sole source of adrenaline, pride, self-worth and competitiveness is watching his team each week. “Where’s the heart? Do they not realise how many people would kill – literally kill – to be in their shoes?!”

Brule said that he was almost ashamed to witness such behaviour, and that the game had gone soft since the days when his father used to live vicariously through players in the 1980s.

“Back then, players hated each other. There was no talking before the game, no hugging, just hard men doing what they were paid to do. These days, it’s more like watching lads who have friends play five-a-side.”