Duncan Castles disowns family over criticism of Mourinho style

castles family

Duncan Castles looks as elderly parents walk away after banishing his family from his life.

Describing their actions as “treasonous” and “heartless”, Duncan Castles reportedly disowned his family today due to remarks made about the style of football played by Jose Mourinho’s Manchester United side.

According to sources close to the Scottish journalist, Castles had been made aware of comments made by his father and mother about what they referred to as a “boring” and “tentative” brand of play from the Portuguese coach.

Meeting them this week, Castles is said to have been shocked and disappointed at their act of betrayal before eventually severing all ties.

“How dare you?! How dare you speak about him like this? Boring football?! How can you be so stupid?? Are you a world class manager?! You have no idea how difficult it is for a manager of his calibre with a decimated and average squad. I must admit, I always knew you would betray me someday, I just didn’t think you’d sink this low,” shouted the furious writer at his devastated parents as they begged him to reconsider.

“There is no going back, Mammy and Daddy, surely you must have known. If it came down to a choice between you and him, it was always going to be him. You never stood a chance.”

At press time, colleagues of Castles claimed the agitated writer was in the middle of publishing an article detailing why Mourinho’s tactical approach was significantly more rewarding than deep and meaningful relationships with family members.