Squabbling incessantly like a pack of stupid rabid dogs, fans of Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi today became engaged in a bitter row over which footballer’s tax evasion was better.
Watching with a mix of horror and glee as hundreds of the players’ acolytes argued on the social media platform Twitter, witnesses confirmed the two groups of mostly pre-pubescent FIFA Ultimate Team players became increasingly vicious as the disagreement wore on.
“Ronaldo might be the latest player to evade tax, but Messi was the first to do it properly,” said Twitter user @LeoIsMyDaddy, before adding in a follow up tweet that “Messi’s evasion of tax laws was much more beautiful compared to Ronaldo’s brash efforts. Ronaldo is effective – sure – but it will be Messi’s almost poetic financial impropriety that I will tell my grandchildren about in years to come.”
The remarks by @LeoIsMyDaddy were immediately rebuked by another rival user named @CR74LIFE69, who claimed that Messi would not have been unable to commit such crimes were it not for the support network around him at Barcelona.
“Messi’s was good – yeah – but it’s only because everyone at Barca are doing it and they know the ins and outs,” he said. “Ronaldo is doing all of this entirely by himself at Madrid, and he’s still better at it than Messi.”
Despite their constant disagreements, sources say that both sets of fans were at least able to agree on the fact that they’re each as pathetic as each other.