“Naby Keita is the next best thing to N’Golo Kante,” says man who definitely isn’t a bit racist deep down

Excitedly extolling the numerous talents possessed by the Guinean midfielder, football fan Ronald Dart – a man who is definitely not even a tiny bit racist deep down – has said that Naby Keita is the next best thing to N’Golo Kante.

Speaking to friends about the Red Bull Leipzig star, Liverpool fan and all-round not racist Dart insisted that Keita had all the qualities of Kante and would prove a success in the Premier League.

“Oh wow, just wait until you see this fella, lads. It’s like watching Kante for the first time. He’s so dynamic, the two of them are like carbon copies of each other,” said the man who holds absolutely no deep-seated prejudices towards people of colour, either consciously or subconsciously.

“It’s really incredible how similar they are. The way they move, their skin colour, their height, their skin colour, it’s uncanny. It’s mad, you could be watching Kante or even Makelele!”

When asked by a slightly more informed friend if Keita didn’t perhaps resemble the playing style of Santi Cazorla a little more, Dart rejected the idea and claimed if anything he was more similar to Patrick Vieira or Didier Drogba.