Sky sources killed after falling out of transfer window

In a tragic accident which has provoked sorrow throughout the entire Sky corporation, Sky Sports News today confirmed that hundreds of its sources have died after falling out of the transfer window.

The incident, which reportedly occurred earlier today, saw 236 of the sports news channel’s transfer sources tumble to the ground after attempting to watch the goings on inside the window.

Speaking this afternoon, a Sky Sports News spokesman expressed sadness at the deaths and sympathy to the families of the anonymous sources.

“We at Sky are devastated to hear about the untimely deaths of our beloved sources. For years, they have been on hand, 24 hours a day, to provide us with the most up to date transfer speculation. In their work, our sources often need to get close to the window. Unfortunately, this time, they got too close,” said the spokesman, adding that their deaths only illustrated the sources’ commitment to up-to-the-minute transfer news.

“Whether it was a weekday or the weekend, they were always there, peeking through the transfer window and filling us in on the goings on inside. They’ll be hard to replace.”

At press time, an updated Sky Sports News report revealed that the sources had actually died days before the station was informed.