In a move the portly gentleman described as his way of sticking it to the “champagne socialist”, a football fan and crisp-lover today announced that he will boycott walking in protest of Gary Lineker.
Angrily bemoaning the outspoken political beliefs of the former Leicester City striker and Walkers crisps ambassador, Notts County fan and potato chip connoisseur Chris Diamond said that he would be righteously absconding from moving around through the use of slow leg movement as a means to show his discontent towards Lineker.
“I used to like Lineker but now I’m sick of him. He never shuts up with the constant virtue-signalling and is always going on about refugees and social justice,” said the 57-year-old, adding that he hopes his boycott of walking will help damage the reputation of the Match of the Day host, while allowing Walkers’ brand to remain as successful and delicious as possible.
“My fight is with Lineker, not Walkers, and I can’t wait to see the look on his face. I’m just doing what I can. It’s important that all of us take a stand against these cucks and SJWs, and this is just my way of contributing.”
At press time, Diamond went on to say that he would also continue being racist in protest to the likes of Lineker and his leftie luvvie cohorts.