Saying that the tie was a learning experience for both the players and everyone watching, a full of shit journalist for a British media outlet has tonight claimed to have learned five things from England’s match against Slovakia.
The Three Lions faced off against their Euro 2016 group opponents at Wembley tonight in a tight if uninspiring match which Gareth Southgate’s men won 2-1.
Writing shortly after the game which saw the hosts struggle for the majority of the 90 minutes, bullshit writer Tim Goose refused to admit that it was a write-off from which England should attempt to move on, deciding instead to try and convince the general public that there were five things to learn and that he, himself, had learned them.
“This was a game of intrigue, with no lack of fight from both sides. The supporters and managers will be left with much to ponder from a night of stark contrasts and wild momentum shifts,” said the absolute liar in the first sentence of his article describing the game which will be forgotten by everyone other than the three scorers on the night.
“While England would have preferred a bigger scoreline, new leaders have emerged from the embers of this fierce match,” he concluded, with possibly his greatest lie of all.