Every yer da in Britain died as a result of cardiac arrest tonight after James McClean scored to knock Wales out of World Cup qualifying.
The Irishman’s goal – which came shortly after the start of the second half – is said to have resulted in the fatalities of more than 12 million current and future yer das across the whole of the United Kingdom.
Speaking tonight, a spokesperson for the NHS admitted that the unprecedented loss of life was directly attributable to the controversial Derry native’s goal.
“What we have seen tonight – the deaths of more than 10 million yer das – is something never before seen in this country. Almost as soon as McClean’s goal crossed the line we were receiving widespread reports of yer das dropping dead up and down the United Kingsdom,” said spokesperson Rachel Doughtry tonight, adding that while the scale of the deaths is enormous, it should not come as a surprise.
“With their short tempers, aversion to everything different or foreign, and general lack of tolerance, it really is a shock that didn’t happen sooner. Nonetheless, it is presumably sad for someone.”
At press time, the British government announced that with the death of every yer da, the country would likely return to being one of tolerance and one that looks to the future rather than the past.