“Know it all prick” furious he won’t get chance to tell people what permutations would lead to Ireland making playoffs

Describing it as a lost opportunity which he will rue for a long time, an Ireland fan has admitted today that he is furious that he will no longer get the chance to tell people exactly what permutations would lead to the country making the World Cup qualifier play offs.

Speaking the morning after Scotland’s 2-2 draw with Slovenia left Ireland simply needing a win against Wales tonight to reach the next stage of qualification, supporter Tom McGuinness said he was disappointed to be robbed of the chance to show his compatriots just how much he knows about the minutiae of FIFA’s qualification guidelines.

“Look, I’m happy that Scotland drew and that it makes our task easier for reaching the play offs. But, if I’m honest, it’s made me learning all the differnet permutations a total waste of time,” said the 23-year-old student today, adding that he had spent close to six hours studying the possible implications of differing results over the past two days.

“Before last night I was all set to explain to people about how important all the other games’ results were and how they’d effect us. But now it’s just this winner takes all bullshit.”

At press time, McGuinness’s friends breathed a sigh of relief at not having to listen to the “know it all prick” throughout the game.