Saying that his country’s near certain failure to qualify for next summer’s World Cup is probably for the best, the Dutch population stated this evening that they’re so busy, they probably wouldn’t have had the time to make it to the tournament anyway.
The Netherlands elimination from World Cup qualifying was confirmed tonight after Dick Advocaat’s side failed to defeat Sweden by seven goals, but rather than express disappointment the country’s inhabitants insisted they “weren’t too keen on going anyway”.
“Oh yeah, the World Cup? Sounds like it might be a laugh but really, we have so much planned for next summer we’re not even sure we’d have been able to make space for it in our calendar,” they said, adding that “once you’ve seen one World Cup you’ve seen them all”.
“It’s fine if it’s the kind of thing that you’re into, I suppose. Like, it’s all well and good for folks like Iceland who’ve never been there. It’s a novelty for them.”
The Dutch populace added that they are especially proud of the country’s players to not merely follow the trend of all other major nations, describing them as “good guys”.
At press time, the Netherlands was describing in detail how “over” football tournaments they are, and admitted that even if they had qualified they have “so many sweet offers from friends” that they probably wouldn’t have gone.