Man‘s view on racism dependent entirely on whether Liverpool player is victim or perpetrator

Describing their friend’s ability for intellectual maneuvering as both “awe-inspiring” and “scarcely believable”, acquaintances of local man Arnold Deuce revealed today that the Liverpool fan’s view on racism is dependent entirely on whether one of the club’s players is the victim or perpetrator.

Speaking to media after the Reds forward Roberto Firmino was accused of racially abusing Everton defender Mason Holgate, friends of the 31-year-old insurance salesman remarked on Deuce’s ability to hold a flexible view on racial discrimination depending on who actually committed the act.

“Fair play to Arnold, he’s very balanced with stuff like this. Personally, I abhor all forms of racism, regardless of who is the target. He’s different though. If a Liverpool player experiences racism he rightly condemns it, but he isn’t afraid to hear both sides of the story if one of them has been accused of doing it. I admire that,” said a friend of the man who in the last month alone has commended a youth team player for reporting racism and criticised an Everton player for doing the same.

“Some people – like me and everyone else I know – are so wedded to their views, that we believe racism is wrong no matter what the circumstances. But Arnold is always willing to wait for just a little bit more information that might clear a Liverpool player’s name.”

At press time, friends and family of the man also praised his ability to be offended by the homophobic behaviour of others while simultaneously using the word “gay” to describe almost anything bad in his life.