Black man not spending his money right, reports Daily Mail

A black man is not spending his money right, according to an in-depth report by the Daily Mail.

The black male, a professional footballer, was accused by the Mail of spending the money he earned on an expensive home, as well as food, clothes, watches and utilities.

Greedily reaping the fruits of his so-far successful career in football, the man is, according to the publication, yet to publicly donate to charity an amount of money large enough to be considered generous but not so large as to virtue signal to the honest, hardworking British public.

On Wednesday, the non-white man – whose family were graciously allowed into Britain by the government and welcomed by its population – was nonetheless seen purchasing a house worth £2.5 million.

The high-profile incident came just days after the Mail reported the man had “flaunted his wealth” after signing a lucrative contract in the same country as people earning significantly less than him, labelled a “flashy show of disrespect” by the paper.

“Whatever it is about him, he just can’t seem to get it right with his money,” wrote writer James Andrew for the Mail. “Much like his ‘bros’ Raheem Sterling and Memphis Depay, he just keeps putting his foot in it.”

Offering advice on how best to avoid such controversy in future, Andrew suggested the man should follow the spending and lifestyle habits of the likes of Jack Wilshere, Jordan Henderson, Adam Lallana, or literally any other “good, wholesome role model” in England.