“Man Utd are wasting their money on Sanchez,” says man who once spent £300 on a Superdry jacket

Castigating the Premier League club for what he considers to be “frivolous” and “foolish” use of their finances, a football fan who once spent £300 on a single Superdry jacket today criticised Manchester United’s pursuit of Alexis Sanchez as a “waste of money”.

Responding to reports that the Chilean forward could be offered between £250,000 and £400,000 in weekly wages as part of his move from the Emirates Stadium, 28-year-old Oliver Train – a chef who sources say has purchased as many as six Superdry products during his adult life – bemoaned Jose Mourinho and chief executive Ed Woodward for “not recognising the value of money”.

“It’s absolutely ridiculous. When I heard they were trying to sign him I knew it’d cost a bit, but this is just way too much. How on earth can they justify such expenditure on a player that age? He’s over-priced, not as good as he used to be and frankly, it just makes them look stupid,” posited the man who last week parted with more than half a week’s wages on a black Superdry jacket with two collars, despite having a choice of every other brand.

“I’m not surprised though. Football teams have shown time and time again that they’re happy to fritter away their money on whatever player is the hot thing at the time. They don’t live in the real world and they have absolutely no grasp of how valuable that money truly is.”

At press time, Train took a break from browsing for a pair of Yeezy trainers to complain at length to his friends about why more football clubs don’t go in search of value rather than simply purchasing the flavour of the month.